Same Old Questions
30(+1) Day Song Challenge Day 22: “A Song That Moves You Forward”
It feels like a coincidence that today’s song really goes well with my mood for the past few days. I actually found this song by accident one day while I was streaming on Apple Music, enjoying my three-month free trial. It’s the same old story of falling in love with a song because of how amazing it sounds only to find out that you actually relate to the lyrics a lot. But there’s a twist here. This song is not actually a song you’d call motivational. But somehow, it reminds me that I have to move forward. It’s Light Year by Adam Melchor featuring Lennon Stella.
Let me just say that this song sounds so beautiful. One, Adam and Lennon’s voices complement each other. When their voices collide, it just works. You have to listen to it to get what I’m saying. Two, I love how they layered atmospheric textures to make this song sound thick and rich. It takes you to a place that only exists in your head. Three, the build-up is perfect for the song. It feels just right, not too soon and not too long. The fact that this song is so short makes me feel like I want to play this song over and over again. It keeps me wanting more, you know. But after learning the lyrics, I feel like the shortness of this song makes it perfect for the theme.
Taking a look at the lyrics, it’s really about someone who tries really hard to cover themselves. The thing their covering could be anything. It might be their worries, their hopes, their dreams, their anxiety, their fear, their current condition mentally or physically. And they realize that their own actions ultimately sets them further from their purpose, whatever it is. It’s really written in the post-chorus.
I’ll just wait in the wings
’Cause I don’t want to bring it to light
That the fact is I’m losing my mind
Oh, where do I go now?
I feel so alone
I’m a light year away from the best days of my life
The lyrics really spoke to me. What I see from this song actually takes me to reflect on myself. I tend to get worried about the things that I know I should do. Those dreams, that ‘glorious purpose’, it’s a big thing for me. Sometimes I get unsure of myself if I was even able to achieve it. To actually make it come true. It makes me question myself, really, and those thoughts make me want to run away (There are times when it feels right to run away, run away — When you ask the same old questions every day, every day).
The chorus really translates all the conflict inside my head. It’s mostly these questions. Why did I even think that I was good enough? Could I even go there? Who do you think you are? And in those moments of questioning myself, I find it hard to be able to put it into words and tell someone about it. So I mostly keep it to myself (Hi, if you’re my friend and you’re reading this, I’m sorry if I was ever not completely honest to you about my well-being).
Why do I set the stage?
Why do I find my place on the pedestal?
Why am I dancing away from what I’m supposed to say
And pretend it’s still best that you don’t know?
The second verse is all-out attacking me.
I sweep feelings under the rug
My own way, my own way
I act like nothing is going wrong
And I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay
Yes, if you just look at it that way, the song sounds sad. But to me, it isn’t really sad, it’s uplifting. For me, the moment you realized the things you do wrong is actually the perfect moment for you to get back on track. And this song is it. It’s that short realization break for me to get up from the ground and move again. Especially after realizing that I still have a long way to go to reach my purpose. That means I have to continue the journey. I mean, at least I am now sure of where I’m supposed to be going.
Let’s put it this way. I’m finally admitting that I wasn’t as okay as I pretend to be. So, I’m finally going to go fix myself and make myself okay. I realized that I was pretending that it’s best that other people (in this case, my close friends and family) don’t know what I’m going through. I’ll finally take the first steps to come clean.
So, that’s why I say that this song moves me forward, “I’m a light-year away from the best days of my life.”
— Nathania S. Alexandra, 2021
